I can’t believe I am writing a blog. I always have had an elitist attitude toward these public diaries. I mean, don’t we have friends to talk to? Why do we feel the need to share our innermost feelings with complete strangers in the universe? Are flesh and bone relationships so unsafe that we run to the ironic tension of intimacy and annonymity on the internet for that sense of “connetion without risk”? The whole concept has always boggled my mind.
And yet here I am. I don’t know what I am doing, but I do have a deep desire to share my jouney toward honesty with other Christians. I sometimes feel that I am drowning in a cartoon life – trying to seem perfect and joyful, when inside I sometimes feel dry, lonely, afraid and distant from God. It is time for me to be as real and radical in our relationships as Jesus was. Otherwise, it comes off sanctimonious and “religious” (because it is) rather than the reality that my spiritual life can be vibrant and energizing.
So, today I begin this blog. I am somewhat paralyzed at the thought that others will see my inner rambling passions, but so be it. This is my call to the vulnerability that is missing from many Christian lives. My heart is racing at the thought that the Lord might actually do something AMAZING through my life as a result of being open with others about what I am learning. And I do look forward to what will happen as I comment on the awesome rollercoaster that is being a follower of Jesus.
And so it begins…